Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Peanut Avenger

Yes folks, you have heard it here. Just when you thought our cause was hopeless, and we would be destined to a life trying to avoid evil legumes and tree nuts out to destroy our safety and sanity, along comes a super hero unlike any other. A super hero for the tired, the weary and the peanut allergic. That's right, you heard it here first, I have discovered that such a super hero does exist.

The Peanut Avenger

I first heard of this amazing hero when he/she was outed on another blog. The Nut Free Mom first wrote about the Peanut Avenger, letting me know that such a savior could exist. In it she she talks of a super hero alter ego, with special powers whose mission it is to eradicate peanuts from the planet.

She speaks of this super hero's powers as incredible and amazing:

"For instance, my superpowers would include being able to make peanut butter sandwiches, Reese's and other forms of peanut and tree nut vaporize with my intense, anti-peanut vision."

I know she was speaking of this avenger as a hope or a dream, but I think, I know that the Peanut Avenger really must exist. Since I have way too much free time on my hands, I decided that I must go onto a quest, for all of us fighting against the evil legume Mr. Peanut to find the Peanut Avenger.
I began my search where I always do, at Wikipedia, to try and learn more about the ways of the super heros, so I could figure out where to begin.

According to Wikipedia,

"A superhero (sometimes rendered super-hero or super hero) is a fictional character "of unprecedented physical prowess dedicated to acts of derring-do in the public interest".

Despite the fact Wikipedia claims super heros are fictional characters, I know they must be real. After all, superman is real isn't he??? So, I began scouring the Internet, in the hopes of finding the true identity of this hero.

I thought I had found my answer at a website entitled The Hero Machine.

The site promises that you can create the super hero of your dreams with just a few quick clicks of your mouse. As they claim proudly on their home page:

"Spent too many sleepless nights fantasizing about your dream superhero? Well, now you can do something about it with HeroMachine. Make your character a reality with HeroMachine Classic. Rastafarian Pterodactyl Man lives!"

Despite the fact that I definitely was not looking for Rastafarian Pterodactyl Man, I believed this could be my answer. I can make my own Peanut Avenger. I logged on to the site, my heart pounding with excitement as I delved into the different super hero options that were available.
Apparently in addition to Hero Machine Classic, there is also Hero Machine 2.5, Hero Machine Real life Edition, Hero Machine Rock Star Edition, and Hero Machine Pin Up Edition.
I opened the program, excited to begin creating my very own Peanut Avenger.

I began my creation, and tried out every different possible option I could think of. There were male and female options, humanoid or animal, basketball or rock star. My super hero could wear a cape, some wings, or a really funny hat. They could even hold all sorts of items such as swords, whips, shields, or ice cream cones. But, as I searched, and I searched, I was unable to find that ever important no peanut symbol, and there was not an epi pen in sight. Although I was able to create wonder woman basketball rock star with snakes for hair, there was no Peanut Avenger to be found.
I logged off full of frustration and despair. Oh where oh where would I find my needed super hero. As I sat, my expectations smashed by the terrible hand of fate, I almost gave up my search. I was ready to quit, but the thought of my sweet little boy out there fighting the evil Mr. Peanut was too much for me to bear. Out from my bottomless pit of nothing, a light bulb went off like a bolt of lightning. I knew what I needed to do, what we all needed to do. I would take this into my own hands, I would do what was necessary to protect my child no matter what the cost. I would create my own Peanut Avenger.

And so I began. What qualities would this super hero have, and what would he/she look like?. I started with the picture that was on the blog that first started me on this quest. I figured the Peanut Avenger must have a no peanut/nut symbol on his chest, and would always carry an epi-pen. He must fight to keep the food allergic safe by removing all dangerous items from their vicinity, and carrying an epi pen (or perhaps 2) just in case he was called to the scene too late.
Perhaps the Peanut Avenger could be the Nut Avenger, and look like this.

Although I liked my first attempt at super hero creation, it just was not enough. The nut avenger did not seem to embody all of the qualities I was looking for in a super hero. Although he looked strong and virile flying through the air to protect the nut allergic, and I am sure he could vaporize any nut with his impending eyeless gaze, I realized I must keep trying to truly embody the essence of the Peanut Avenger.

I tried again...., and again.. and again.

I was finally able to create this super strong Peanut Avenger with muscles to spare and an epi pen in each hand. He emulated strength and power. He would be able to smash Mr. Peanut into peanut butter with a flick of his biceps.

But still, it just did not seem right, or true. What would the real Peanut Avenger look like. What was the Peanut Avenger really about. As I thought and I thought, I realized that this super hero was more about all the regular people who deal with difficult circumstances in their everyday life. The people who deal with the day to day frustrations of keeping their children safe, educating their community and helping others. The people who have no idea they are heros but really are, especially to the allergic children they are trying to protect.

Although these people are teachers, neighbors, care givers, parents, grandparents, and friends, they are most embodied by the mothers. These mothers are faster then a speeding bullet and have the power of flying across rooms at parties, to prevent their child from eating a dangerous food. They can see through walls to tell if peanut products may be hiding behind a closed cabinet door. They fight ignorance, and evil legumes with their bare hands. They have the power to heal through epi-pens, kind words and kisses, to help make both the physical and psychological boo boos better.

So, I finally found the Peanut Avenger.

Faster then a speeding bullet

More powerful then the evil Mr. Peanut

Able to remove all nut products in a single bound

Look up in the sky

Its a bird. Its a plane. Its.....

Yes, it's The Peanut Avenger - strange visitor from another world who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men or women. The Peanut Avenger - who can change the course of dangerous meals, use an epi-pen with her bare hands, and who, disguised as Claire Kent, mild mannered mother for a great metropolitan family, fights the never ending battle for Safety, Justice and the Food Allergy Way.


Jenny said...

This is EXACTLY the superhero I've been thinking of when I wrote my Peanut Avenger blog entry. I love the Epi Pen in hand and the sexy outfit!

This is what I will think of the next time I need to "swoop down" and remove my daughter from the peanut or tree nut "line of fire." Great job on this! Very fun.

Jennifer said...

I am so glad you like it!!! It was alot of fun to write. I think I need a hobby. lol.