Why God Made Moms - An End of the School Year Tribute

With the end of the school year upon us, I am presently sitting at home trying to write this while 3 still pajama clad children run wild around the house. I am finding it quite hard to concentrate with things whizzing by my head, and dangerous sounds coming from the next room. There is no screaming yet, so I figure all is good for now. In honor of the end of the school year a friend of mine sent me this below. It gave me a chuckle and I hope it will for you too. (Hmmm, I just heard from the other room "I think it is stuck in the oven" to look or not to look, that is the question.)

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Things I Learned on our Vacation - Lesson #2

Yes, I know, more lessons from our fun filled vacation to Ireland. When we arrived my very well meaning mother in law told me all the preparations she had done for our visit. She really is wonderful, and after a month or two of trying to understand Conor's allergies, she now really gets it, and does her best to help us out. Before we arrived she cleaned the house of any peanut products, made an effort to find safe foods for him, and cleaned the whole place thoroughly. She even had some things she was not sure of to have me check out for myself.

After we had been there a few days, (and I recovered from our 3 flights see lesson #1 only take direct flights) she excitedly told me she had checked out a local restaurant and thought it would be safe for Conor. She said she had gone in and talked to the staff and person in charge, and they said Conor could eat there safely.

Hearing this great information, we headed over there one night for dinner with tons of family. We all excitedly sit down and peruse our menu for our exciting dinning options. When I get to the bottom of the menu I see a giant disclaimer , "This restaurant is not safe for those suffering from nut allergies." Uh Oh, not a good sign. My husband gently points this out to my mother in law who stated that she spoke to the manager, and just never quite looked at the menu. I called the Manager over to our table, informed him about Conor's life threatening allergies. He first told me the food was safe, and there were only peanuts in a few things. I politely pointed out the giant disclaimer at the bottom of the menu stating his restaurant was definitely not safe, and then explained to him how cross contamination works. He went off to double check again, only to discover that many other products in the kitchen were not safe, and if my son was that sensitive perhaps he should not eat there.

Thankfully there was a McDonalds around the corner, (yes, McDonalds are everywhere) and the restaurant manager kindly agreed to let Conor eat his McDonalds happy meal in the restaurant while everyone else ate their regular food.

So what was my second lesson of our vacation.....

#2 Always double check any information someone gives you

and sub lesson - restaurant managers are idiots!

Another Lesson I Learned About Blogging About Our Vacation

I just checked my last post about that very important lesson I learned on our vacation only to discover that half my post was missing. Yikes!!! Where in the world did that brilliant prose disappear to in the cyberspace universe. Of course it was filled with brilliant pithy commentary about peanut allergies and flying, and may have even held the secret to peace on earth, but now it is all gone.... snif, snif snif.

So, the important lesson I learned is

Always Check Your Blog After You Publish It to Make Sure Your Entire Post is There.

Of course I discovered this almost a week later. Big oooppssss. I can not believe me or the three people that read this did not try and alert me that my blog ended in mid sentence. Talk about a cliff hanger.

OK, so I will see if I can finish off the exciting story. I am sure I can not remember all the really insightful, humorous details, and of course I seem to have forgotten the part about creating peace on earth, but I will try my best.

So, I think that after tossing Conor over the seat to Mick, he took him to the bathroom and tossed him back to me. Of course in this second toss, Conor's foot somehow hit the guy in the aisle in the head, thus awakening him from his peaceful airplane slumber. OOPPPPssss sorry. So, after I get Conor settled I look over to my right to again apologize to this poor man besides us only to discover that he has pulled out a snack to eat. Of course this was no ordinary snack, it was a giant bag of peanuts. My heart started to beat faster, as I turned to the man and anxiously requested that he put away his airline snack because it could kill my son. The poor man was so nice and apologized profusely that I offered to give him one of our snacks, or buy him a safe one from the airplane. Of course he declined my offer, and politely rubbed his head where my poor sweet thing kicked him, but I still felt bad for the guy.

I finally got Conor sufficiently drugged to calm the hacking and fall asleep. I contemplated giving him a nebulizer with really cool little nebulizer, with the fun option of freaking out the annoying flight crew by not telling them why smoke was rising from the middle of isle 24 but finally thought the better of it. I do have to say that I wonder if the proximity to peanuts could have caused all of Conor's symptoms, or could they just be related to the dust, etc on the airplane. It is something I will have to try and keep an eye on in the future.....

So we finally made it safely to Heathrow where I gave Conor a nebulizer, got all of our pictures taken in security, and wondered why the security people paid more attention to my socks then the large bag of liquids and needles I showed them.

We made it onto the third airplane where I discovered my air sickness gets very bad when traveling for almost 24 hours, and proceeded to throw up on the airplane, and for the hour ride to Nana's house. Those barf bags are really useful sometimes, and I made sure to stock up on our way home for little peoples new car sickness issues.

So anyways, just a simple reiteration of my first lesson that I have now hopefully completed....

1) Always Take a Direct Flight

Another holiday at the doctor

Happy memorial day everyone. I am presently writing this from our
friendly very crowded pediatric aftercare office. Conor seems to have
yet another ear infection on a day all normal medical offices are
closed. Last time he had an ear infection was on super bowl sunday. I
think he times these things on purpose. Hopefully we will be called
soon..............

Sent from my iPhone

Things I Learned on Our Vacation

Whew!! We made it home, and I am still trying to recover, but am finally able to try and function normally. I know, I know, you have all been waiting with baited breath to hear about our globe traveling exploits. So, my next few posts will cover important things I learned on our trip, so everyone can learn from our experiences. (just don't laugh at my expense :)

1) When traveling a long distance you MUST take a direct flight.

That is right, whatever you do, take a direct flight. It does not matter how much it may cost but you must beg borrow and steal to raise the funds to go direct. This is a non negotiable aspect of any of my future excursions to Ireland. Even if you are presented with free frequent flyer tickets for your entire family, do not take them unless they are a direct flight. No exceptions apply!!

On the way there, we took 3 airplanes to get to Dublin. One from San Francisco to Los Angeles, one from Los Angeles to Heathrow, and one from Heathrow to Dublin. The flight from LA to San Francisco was fine, and we quickly hopped over to the Heathrow to Dublin flight with an ease that made me think this was no big deal. Ok, I was wrong....don't base your assessment of a 20 hour trip on the first 2 hours.

So, we make it on to plane #2, where my lovely husband informs me we have 3 seats in one row, and 2 seats in the row in front, with only one row having an aisle seat. The other row with two seats together is right in the middle of that long center isle in the middle of the plane.....Cool. Of course no one would trade with us, so at first I sat in the back row with 2 children, and Mick sat in front of us with one.

About 10 minutes after we got on the airplane Conor started sneezing, wiping and itching. Cool.... I quickly popped out the benedryl to drug him up and it seemed to help a bit. We took off, and made do as the time very slowly passed. Thankfully there were tv screens in the seat in front and that kept everyone entertained for quite a while.

Much later in the flight after many of the seat changes, they dimmed the light to pretend it was night. Conor and I were in the first row, and the other three were behind us. Conor started his mas mucas production again, and I drugged him again with another round of benedryl since it had been over 4 hours. Of course once the man next to me with the aisle access fell asleep, Conor decided he had to go to the bathroom again. (I spent half the flight taking one child or another to the bathroom!!) So, I tossed him to Mick over a seat

Super Epi Pen Over the Rainbow

Whew, we and Super Epi Pen are back from somewhere over the rainbow.

This labeling is nuts

Ok, bear with me here as I am trying to blog from my iPhone and I am
really bad at typing on this tiny little keyboard thing.
What would previously take me two minutes to write now takes me 20

Hhhmm let's see what happens if I slam my fingers on all the keys at
once. Htdgfidjfudhh. Ok not quite as exciting as I was expecting

Things here are going fine except for an unexpected funeral of my
sister in laws 94 year old mother. Well the woman was 94, I guess
not that unexpected, but still kind of sad. I opted out of the open
casket wake at the sibling in laws house and stayed home breaking up
fights about whose glass of water was the tallest and who has the most
freckles.

Anyways on to what I was originally going to write about.
Labeling. The labeling here is actually pretty good although
searching through isles of unfamiliar products can be a bit time
consuming and frustrating.

Despite the good labeling there seems to be some over labeling and
warnings put on everything of some brands just to be safe legally. My
favorite labeling was this

"this product contains no nuts..............
This product may contain nuts"

Hhhhhhhhmmmm confusing get my hopes up that the product
Might be safe and then dash those hopes in a conflicting statement.
Think of the ink wasted to write both those lines. Why not just write
may contain nuts. Maybe these labels are written by those stupid
idiots who write articles claiming peanut allergies are just a figment
of the imagination of crazy mothers who want to feel important

Ok enough rambling. Stay tuned for more excitment
Sent from my iPhone